It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
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