I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize