was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
