I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
