Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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