oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
