What did we do last night that was yellow?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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