i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
