I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
so much tequila, so little girl.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
