FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
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