Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
