So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
