Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
there was a trapeze. enough said
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
