do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize