She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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