What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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