NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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