it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
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