Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
