Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
