Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize