i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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