I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
