Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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