Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
