Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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