the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
