So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We have started to decorate penises.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
