i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
