I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
