She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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