I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
