There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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