She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
