with your own penis?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
