so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
