Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
