Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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