I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
