We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
