I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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