Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
