Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
