is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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