Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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