WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize