I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
