His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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