Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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