I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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