that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
