You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
