Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she told me i tasted like america
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
