Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
BRING THE BAGELS
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
