Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
