Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I could make wine with my vomit
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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