I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
as a side note pls kill me
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
