i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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