Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I love having hate sex.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
