giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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