I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
