New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
