This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
