I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
There are leaves in my underwear?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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