I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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