We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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