a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize