i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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