ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
