I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
