Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
