I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
