so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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