why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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