I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
