its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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