No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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