ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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